Beckett Quotes

My kid is constantly cracking me up. I compiled a few of my favorite quotes and conversations (newest to oldest).

B: "I'll just ask God if He will give us a girl baby."
     "God, which baby can I have?...(Pause)....Okay....He said I can have a girl baby."
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Bedtime conversation with Beckett tonight:
B: "Mom, I'm trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up."
Me: "Oh, yeah? What are you thinking about?
B: "Well, I don't know if I want to be a 'spirit run flagger guy (aka cheerleader) for ORU...for OSU...or USC."
Me: "Hmm. Why don't you sleep on it and let me know in the morning."
Bless his little heart.
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Comments that Beckett made as I was tucking him in tonight:
1) "The boy in my class is named Joseph, just like Joseph in the Bible. That means there's two Josephs, a real one and the pretend one from the Bible."
2) Jesus makes people die.
I'm obviously rocking this Christian parenting thing.

On a lighter note, he prayed that his "eyeglashes and coughs" would go away.
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Found a 50 cent firetruck at Walmart and bought it for Beckett for doing so well at the doctor.
B: "Why did you buy me a firetruck?"
Me: "For doing so well with your nose drops (FluMist)."
B: "Oh. So, I should get 2 toys because I have 2 nose holes and got 2 nose sprays."

That's how you play the system, my friends.

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My 3 year old described dinner tonight as "interesting and impressive". Eh, I'll take it.

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Here's the conversation that happened as I loaded a mega box of popcorn into our cart this afternoon:

B: "Mom, is that for you and dad to eat after you put me to bed?"
Me: "Does that sound like something we would do?"
B: "Yep." 
Me: "Oh"
{We.got.BUSTED!}

At least he doesn't know about the ice cream or the cookies!

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Beckett is on a kick where he asks if every food is "good for my body." After questioning every vegetable in our mini garden, I finally respond saying "If it grows on a plant, it's probably good for your body...unless you can smoke it." Oh dear, I think it's time for my husband to fly back home.
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It's the first warm day in months so we are outside drawing with sidewalk chalk. Beckett asks me to draw a road and our house, so I do and add some trees and flowers in the yard. As I am drawing these beautiful flowers and landscaped yard (which don't really exist at our house, just wishful thinking), B quickly points out "Mom, you forgot to draw Karsten's poop in the yard." Why yes, yes I did...

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Beckett: "When I get older, I can fly by myself to Kaki and Granddaddy's house."
Me: "Really? How old do you have to be to fly alone?"
B: "5"
Me: "Hmm...we'll see."
B: "And when I get older I can drink the blue."
Me: "Huh?!?"
B: " I can drink the blue from your bathroom." (Scope mouthwash)

Keep dreaming big, Son 

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I love how my son is a planner. "Mom, I'm going to eat a peanut butter Pop-tart, then a blueberry Pop-tart, then another peanut butter Pop-tart, then another blueberry Pop-tart." And then he did... in that order.

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Backseat driving instructions from my two-year old: "Mom, pop a wheelie with the car!"

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Note to self: disciplining is more difficult when there is a cute girl sitting behind you.
Me: "Beckett, are you listening to Momma or are you flirting?"
Beckett: "Flirting"

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Me: "Beckett, can you be quiet for a second. I'm trying to find something." 
Beckett: "Are you trying to find Jesus?"